A Journey from Darkness into Light
2020 has been a year of unprecedented occurrence. To varying degrees, the virus has affected us all. It’s led to isolation, loss of livelihood and in many cases, loss of life itself. Families ripped apart, so many have suffered deeply. Fights over equality, politics and government control have left gapping wounds in the unity of our people. There is no... Continue Reading →
It has been said that the grieving process is like peeling an onion. As each layer falls away, it gives the gift of deeper understanding and also reveals the next level of processing. The stages don’t go smoothly from 1-5… denial, anger, bargaining, depression and then acceptance. They are interwoven and revisit you many times even after... Continue Reading →
Most of us share the basic human desire to escape pain. It is weeks like this one that illuminate the desperate attempts my mind makes to transcend my own. Our HIE community was shaken by the passing of 3 of our children over the last week. This unbelievable loss has thrust me hard back into... Continue Reading →
Today was hard. I was inarguably consumed by the anger stage of grief. Before I write though, I want to preface this post by saying… I do not share our experience for pity or attention. My writing is a way to help me process through the harder parts of our journey. Sharing what I write fulfills a different purpose... Continue Reading →
It’s our first day home from the hospital and while I do feel great relief, there is also a weight of sadness plaguing my heart. I know this feeling. I recognize it because I’ve experienced it many times before. It is the resurfacing of grief. The unique thing about having a child with a brain... Continue Reading →
There have been a number of times in the last 5 years that I’ve literally thought I might lose my mind. This is one of those times. The news yesterday, of my oldest friend being found dead, alone in his home, hit my like a ton of bricks. The words, 'Ryan passed away', sent waves of shock... Continue Reading →
Today was the day. After nearly a year of appointments, phone calls, follow up phone calls, disappointments, more phone calls and a whole lot of waiting, the growth kit for Oliver’s wheelchair was ready to be installed.They’re funny… These simple things. So much emotion from such simple things.It was a hurried morning to get the... Continue Reading →
There are 1000 different situations in which a special needs parent will need to summon superhuman strength. Today was one of those times for me. We agreed to do a special session of Cuevas Medek Exercises (CME) today with the woman who trained many of the Napa therapists. I honestly can’t say enough positive things... Continue Reading →
Sometimes I barely recognize the person I’ve become. I took this photo just before walking in to confront our respite agency about why they aren’t staffing our hours with competent caregivers. Five years ago I never could’ve imagined dressing in this conservative outfit and coolly and confidently walking into an office to deal with an... Continue Reading →
Boy do I feel tired right now. It’s not the kind of tired that comes from lack of sleep… I got five consecutive hours last night, which felt pretty freakin amazing. It’s not the kind of tired that comes after a long day of physical exertion…all of the therapy and errands for today were cancelled. ... Continue Reading →
Until today, it had been a couple of years since I’d had a full blown panic attack. I used to get them a lot when Oliver was little. Back then the stress was just too great and my mind was constantly running wild. But lately I’ve felt strength and calm and relative stability (my husband would laugh at... Continue Reading →
I feel like this is a supremely appropriate time to give credit where credit is due… to those amazing angels who come into our lives to give us a little space to breath. We are halfway through Oliver’s spring break and I gotta be honest, it’s kicking my ass. Granted there have been some extenuating... Continue Reading →
Oliver's Odyssey 