About a year after I created Oliver’s Odyssey, I found myself at a backyard barbecue with a women I’d never met. I was telling her about this blog, the story behind it and what it meant to me. When I finished she laughed and said, “Well, I think it’s kind of funny that you call it Oliver’s Odyssey but it’s really about you.”
This comment, which may strike others as rather benign, immediately amplified every insecurity I’d ever had about my writing. I mentally checked out of the conversation she and I were having, unable to get past the cascade of negative thoughts taking over my mind.
“Was her comment meant to be as critical as I’d heard it? Was this how everybody felt about what I wrote? Was I making a fool of myself by thinking anyone would actually care about my experience within the HIE life? I was, after all, a nobody; my life uninteresting and devoid of anything meaningful to share. It was only Oliver who had something to offer the world. It was only his story that was worth telling.”
In the weeks following that barbeque, these intrusive, critical thoughts continued, spinning a web of lies in which I became trapped… All based on one person’s, perhaps, innocent opinion.
Deeply insecure about my creation and my own self worth, I allowed her comment to wreck my creativity and connection to flow. I took a long break from writing. Halting my urge to share my emotional experience of this life, I waited until something concrete, factual, ONLY about Oliver came through.
But the harder I tried to write what I thought I “should be writing” the less inspiration came. I felt no connection to technical writing. I didn’t want to create essays about cerebral palsy or brain injuries or even therapies or treatments. I wanted to write what flowed from my heart, which has always been my lived experiences, the emotions within them, and the things they teach me.
That barbecue was nearly 3 years ago and I have to say, the beliefs I created around that single comment have haunted me ever since. Although I eventually did make my way back to writing from my heart, I’ve continued to second guess every post that I make. Is this enough about Oliver to post it here? As if my readers are keeping track, dinging me points for being “off topic.”
The truth is, everything within Oliver’s Odyssey is connected to my life.
This Odyssey which Oliver leads is the journey of my own personal awakening through the HIE experience, my initiation into motherhood, womanhood and the unfolding of a spiritual quest through earthly life. Oliver’s soul and story are inextricably connected to mine and truly, I couldn’t separate us even if I wanted to.
The symbolism of a spiral, our logo, signifies the integration of all things into ones journey through life. And now it is time to integrate the multi-dimensionality of my own experience, guilt free, into the Odyssey.
This blog post, as unnecessary as it may seem, is my public permission slip to break free from the shackles of my own censorship and to write what comes through, regardless of the muse; embracing the entirety of that which I have always been, an empathic, open-hearted over-sharer who delights in talking about the shadows, the fringe, the esoteric and the interconnected nature of all things.
To me, the HIE experience encompasses all of these and is about so much more than just becoming a parent. It’s an opportunity for profound personal development, a chance to discover the world on an entirely different level, and an invitation to dive deep into the limitless expansion of our own consciousness.
So as this year comes to an end, I invite any of you who’ve been holding yourselves back along with me, to release your made up stories and self-limiting beliefs, to tell your fears to take a long walk off a short bridge and to enter this new year with your hearts wide open, ready to fully embrace your unlimited potential.
Break free and Become my friends. Break free and Become what you’ve always Wanted to Be.
You are an amazing writer and an inspiration. Oliver is lucky to have the family he does!
I truly think you could write a book and it would be a major hit (I know I’d read it).
Thank you so much for the support Chelsey ❤ It means a lot to me. Hopefully one day life will allow the space and energy for a book to come through!
I needed this today. Our children’s story is also our story; it is all intertwined. And, we need to allow ourselves freedom to tell it in our truest ways. Thank you, as always, for your beautiful words. May 2022 bring you joy.
We do! Thank you so much for understanding me and validating this perspective ❤
First time knowing about Oliver and his and your journey. Read your writing on how 1 persons opinion cause you so many thoughts and doubts. I’m glad you realized this journey was yours too. It’s your life , your feelings Oliver’s journey , his story and yea they intertwine. Loved how you wrote this and it flows beautifully. You are an amazing writer I’m proud to follow the journey.
I’m on my own journey, I’ve been part of a collaborative book published in 2019 and it to caused many emotions as I wrote each page even though it was only 1 chapter I knew I had to write my own book. I’m so happy to see this because I need to continue my journey as it is TBD and lots more to add. Thank You for this God Bless “ another Empath who cares “
Thank you, Donna, for taking the time to leave such a sincere comment and learn about our journey. Finding my own place within it has been a very healing step so I am thankful for that. Writing is such a wonderful outlet for the emotional process- I’m so glad you’ve found it to be helpful in the unfolding of your own path. I wish you all the luck with your book!